I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
