im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
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