So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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