so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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