i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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