god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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