On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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