Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
