better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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