Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
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