Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
one might say we're banned from that church
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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