Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
It's never too late to be topless.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
