Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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