I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Randomize
