everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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