here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
