My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
