I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
