Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
