Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
