is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
