i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
