I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
