he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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