I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
