return my video game
If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
