Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
