Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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