Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
