I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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