Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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