Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
