tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
