I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
high people should be assigned attendants
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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