I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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