I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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