no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
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