no. you can't hotbox the world.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
