Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
