I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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