Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
