i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
How does it feel to date your dad?
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
