Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Randomize
