i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
My vagina is officially offended.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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