Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
