I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
