i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
