The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
