Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Randomize