It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
