if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
