every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
