last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Randomize
