Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
