Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
