guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
