I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
