I am puke
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
