Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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