its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
