there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
