You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
